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My Life

Subway Shopping

Posted by doktakra on May 22, 2007 at 2:36 PM

I love it when I see those guys selling bootleg DVDs on the subway.  I don't really know why, but they always make me smile.  Not that I've ever bought anything from them -- I just like the way the dude rushes down the middle of the train car chanting, "five dollar, five dollar."  I already know that I'm a bad person, so save it.

But there was an unexpected twist yesterday, when a pair of new characters entered the premises.  The speaker of the two laid out his sales pitch, which began with:  "They told you that nobody beats the Wiz, but they were wrong!"  You can't make this stuff up.  I was the only one to laugh out loud, probably because I was also the only one paying attention, but come on!  Did this guy just wake up from a six-year coma?  Maybe he happened to catch that old Sienfeld episode the night before?  Because I remember The Wiz going out of business when I was starting my freshman year of college in 2001. 

Needless to say, he made no sales, although I was slightly intrigued when he announced he had "anything and everything, from Spiderman to R. Kelly In Concert."  I briefly contemplated asking if he had the (alleged) R. Kelly sex tape -- um, as a joke, not because I wanted to watch it...again -- but then decided against it.  I figured it would've been worse than the time I asked my swimming instructor if the pool had that chemical which turns urine purple in the water.  This was last week...I wish I was joking.  Er, I may have said too much.

Categories: Subway Stories, R. Kelly

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Reply Lawrence
5:04 PM on May 28, 2007 
so, just catching up on my blog etc. and two comments: <br> <br>1) the purple [dye] is only intended to pick up on urine not other bodily fluids so it really shouldn't be a problem for you... <br> <br>2) The fact that you haven't mentioned the following as your "guilty pleasures" deeply disturbs me: <br> <br> 1. the five episodes of Scrubs they show on syndication. <br> 2. Next! and other classy MTV dating shows. <br> 3. Devils hockey with our favorite announcer. <br> <br>Please amend and get back to me.
Reply doktakra
9:38 PM on May 28, 2007 
Haha...very good points here. The MTV shows should definitely be on that list, and I will make sure to kill a few hours at work this week to make that happen. I don't really mention sports on this site, though I guess could make an exception just this once... <br> <br>And thank you for clearing up the pool situation - - I was worried that I would be exposed. I'm a role model for some people there, you know.
Reply Jase
11:35 PM on May 28, 2007 
Obviously your "dokta"rate isn't in English, because it's spelt Seinfeld.
Reply doktakra
8:31 PM on May 29, 2007 
I hope you can forgive me for this egregious error. I don't even know how to express my more sincere apology to the biggest SEINFELD freak I know. And yes, my dokta-rate is in pleasing the ladies...or clearly not. I will now go back to watching E! News.